Dust In Dusk

Beauty.
Bones.
Hearts.
Homes.


Named as she roams. 
Free falling alone.
She suffers in thirst.
Gripping the relief of her torture tightly.


She's afraid of the night.
She vows to do what's right.


She's dying to stay.
Dying as she waits.
Even in sundown,
She fights for the day.


And she hopes, like dust, she isn't wisped away. 

Nice Words

This week has been hectic, crazy, busy, and lazy. As I reflect on my life and my time as a college student, I get a little emotional because of all that I have had to overcome. I've struggled financially, emotionally, academically, spiritually, and in more ways than I can possibly name. Every single mountain I've had to climb has always led me a beautiful peak where I can witness the loveliness of life. 

I am determined to live.

There is no way I will let the faults of this world deter me from living. 

I have learned so much about myself. I have achieved things I never thought I could. And I have failed myself when I least expected it. Regardless, I've kept fighting. 


I only wish I could share my courage with those who lost theirs.


As I grow older, I have learned how fragile life really is. All around me people are dropping dead within the blink of an eye. In a tick of a second-hand, a life passes by us and on the next world. And we sit here, us oblivious beings, completely unaware. 


I am determined to live.

So I stand here not waiting for life. I am now realizing, life is only waiting for me. And at this point, there's no reason to test its patience. I will plunge into its wonders and embrace all that it has to offer.

DON'T BE TOO LATE 

I just read an article and watched a video in the Huffington Post that revealed that 10 year-old, Illinois CHILD killed herself after being bullied.


BULLIED. BULLIED.  BULLIED. 


This is absolutely unacceptable. To be so oblivious to the power that WORDS can have! To be completely immune to the word, bully. These simple words seem to be heard all too often, creating a sense of understanding that is flawed and inaccurate. 


When people think of a "bully" they often think of a kid who is taller and bigger than all the other kids, who goes around giving other kids wedgies and takes their lunch money. 


They don't think of the jealous, undisciplined child who is raging inside with jealousy and hate. Who preys on the happiness of others to build up their own self-worth. And who only sees the intimidation and not the growing depression and sadness that their victim becomes emerged in. They don't see. 


As a survivor of years of bullying, I know how hard it can be. I know that words are more than simply words. The tongue is a lethal weapon that goes underestimated. 


It can cause more pain than ever imagined. It can cloud the thoughts of the sane. Those thoughts, then, become crazed--enraged. 


Now, these thoughts of the victims are blazing with the fire of either retaliation or complete submission. Instead of fighting, they chose flight. They chose to release their soul in the night.


Along with child innocence comes ignorance. Ignorance of how to IGNORE. Ignorance of how to OVERCOME. Ignorance of the lives of OTHERS. 


This is unacceptable. A life should never be cut short at the hand of oneself. 


Never. 


Read the full article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/14/ashlynn-conner-suicide-fa_n_1092521.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Untitled

Excuses only provoke failure.
I am refusing to give in to life's relentless pressures.

"Keep it moving while fighting the fire.
Keep on breathing while feeling desire."
A girl yells from her place in the world.

Sometimes, I can feel the earth spinning below my feet.
I hear the cries of strangers and enemies.
I can see the blind man's eyes as his ears watch me.

Beneath my feet, the world is spinning.

God said to fear him and none else.
But I fear my life, my heart, and myself.

I fear my decision to take what I've been given and to turn it to gold, will be the death of a girl crushed by her failure.

Her heart bleeds.
Into the earth it seeps.
The spinning her blood feeds.

Greed and belief.
Pay heed and obey.
Live while your blood runs abundant.


Love while your heart allows it.
Breathe while the sky is intact.
Lay down.
And feel the earth break you.

-R.